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Real Stories, Rooted in Regulation

Understanding the “Why” Behind Baby Struggles

Not all babies fit neatly into a box.

Many of the families I support come in feeling like there are multiple things going on—sleep struggles, feeding challenges, reflux, fussiness, or delays in movement.

But often, these are not separate issues.

They are connected.

The case studies below are shared to help you understand how I look at babies through a whole-body, nervous system lens.

All details have been changed or generalized to protect privacy.

Feeding & Oral Function

“It’s Not Just a Tongue Tie”

The Starting Point

A mama reached out feeling unsure about what was going on with her baby.

She had been told it might be a tongue tie…

But something didn’t quite feel that simple.

Her baby was:

  • Struggling with feeding (gulping, tiring easily, not latching efficiently)
  • Showing signs of tension in her body
  • Preferring to look to one side
  • Beginning to develop some head shape asymmetry

She shared that feeding felt effortful… and she wasn’t sure if this was just “normal” or if something deeper was going on.

What We Looked At (Beyond the Surface)

Instead of focusing on just the mouth, we looked at the whole baby.
During our assessment, a few key patterns stood out:

✔ A reliance on movement (rocking/holding) to stay calm and organized

✔ A preference for turning her head to one side, with reduced midline control
✔ Extension-dominant movement patterns (more pushing back than curling in)
✔ Tension through the neck, jaw, cheeks, ribs, hips, and floor of the mouth
✔ Oral motor challenges like poor tongue cupping, jaw clenching, and fatigue during feeds

So while “tongue tie” had been mentioned…

👉 What we were really seeing was a whole-body pattern impacting feeding.

What Was Really Going On

This wasn’t just about the tongue.

Her baby’s body was:

  • Holding tension
  • Working hard to stay regulated
  • Using compensatory patterns (like jaw clenching) to make feeding work

Because of this:

  • The tongue couldn’t move as efficiently
  • Feeding became more effortful
  • Air intake, gulping, and fatigue increased

When the body isn’t comfortable… the mouth often compensates.

Our Approach

We focused on supporting her baby from the inside out.

Instead of “fixing” one thing, we supported:

✔ Body tension & symmetry
 Gentle daily movements, stretches, and positioning woven into diaper changes and play

✔ Oral motor function
 Simple tongue activation exercises to encourage cupping and connection to the palate

✔ Head & neck support
 Soft hands-on strategies to improve mobility and reduce asymmetry

✔ Regulation first
 Helping baby feel more organized and comfortable in her body

And most importantly…

✔ Keeping everything simple and doable for mom

What Shifted

Even within the session, we saw:

  • Softer body tension
  • Improved movement quality
  • Better organization and calm with support

And mom left with:

  • A clearer understanding of what was actually going on
  • Tools she could use right away
  • Confidence in how to support her baby

The Bigger Message

This is something I see all the time…

What looks like:

  • A feeding issue
  • A tongue tie
  • A fussy baby

…is often connected to the body and nervous system underneath it all.

When we support:

  • Comfort in the body
  • Regulation
  • Movement patterns

Everything else often starts to shift.

Not because we “fixed” the baby…
 But because their body feels better.

If this sounds familiar…

If you’ve been wondering:

  • “Is this just normal?”
  • “Why does feeding feel so hard?”
  • “Something feels off but I can’t explain it…”

You’re not overthinking it 💜

There’s usually a reason—and we can figure it out together.

Reflux & Digestive Comfort

“Gassy, Fussy, and Struggling with Feeds”

Presenting Concerns

Parents reported ongoing gassiness, fussiness during feeds, and signs of reflux. Baby would occasionally gag or choke during bottle feeding, particularly when upset. Sleep was broken, with frequent waking and discomfort when placed on their back.

Clinical Considerations

This presentation suggested a combination of abdominal and diaphragm tension, along with possible challenges in coordinating suck–swallow–breathe. Birth history and early feeding experiences may have contributed to tension patterns impacting comfort and feeding efficiency.

From a nervous system perspective, baby appeared to be feeding in a more dysregulated state, which can increase air intake and digestive discomfort.

Support Provided

Sessions focused on gentle body-based support through the abdomen, diaphragm, and hips, along with coaching parents on feeding pace, positioning, and recognizing early cues before dysregulation escalated.

Observed Changes

Parents reported that feeds began to feel calmer, with improved latch and less milk loss. Gulping reduced, and baby appeared more settled overall during feeds. Gassiness was still present but less intense, and baby seemed more comfortable after feeding.

Clinical Reflection

When feeding feels hard, it’s often not just about feeding. Looking at the body and nervous system can help us understand what’s underneath—and support the process in a way that feels more natural for both baby and parent.

Sleep & Regulation

“The Baby Who Hated Being Put Down”

Presenting Concerns

Parents described their baby as needing to be held constantly and becoming upset when placed down, even briefly. Baby preferred upright positions and showed distress when laid on their back. Sleep was challenging, with frequent waking and difficulty settling.

Clinical Considerations

This pattern can sometimes reflect underlying body discomfort, particularly through the spine, diaphragm, or digestive system. Sensitivity in the nervous system may also contribute to a lower threshold for positional changes.

Baby appeared to seek constant movement and contact as a way to stay regulated.

Support Provided

Support focused on improving comfort in the body through gentle hands-on work, along with coaching parents on ways to introduce supported transitions to the floor while maintaining a sense of safety.

We also explored how to layer regulation through touch, movement, and predictability.

Observed Changes

Over time, parents noticed that baby began to tolerate short periods on the floor and appeared more comfortable in different positions. Transitions became smoother, and baby required less constant movement to remain settled.

Sleep remained a work in progress but felt less intense overall.

Clinical Reflection

Babies who “need to be held all the time” are often communicating something through their body.

When we support comfort and regulation from the inside out, their tolerance for the world around them can begin to expand.

Movement & Development

"Delayed Movement and Preference for Being Upright"

Presenting Concerns

Parents were concerned about delayed movement milestones. Baby preferred to stay upright and showed limited interest in transitioning in and out of sitting or pulling to stand. Floor play was tolerated briefly but not sustained.

Clinical Considerations

Findings suggested reduced core activation and a tendency toward extension patterns, making it more challenging to move through midline and explore transitions.

There were also signs that baby may not have been fully comfortable or confident in their body when moving against gravity.

Support Provided

Sessions focused on supporting core activation, midline awareness, and gradual exposure to movement transitions through play. Parents were coached on how to reduce hands-on support just enough to allow baby to explore and build confidence.

Observed Changes

Parents reported increased motivation to move, with baby beginning to rotate out of sitting, explore hands-and-knees positions, and initiate pulling to stand with support.

Confidence and curiosity in movement both increased.

Clinical Reflection

Movement isn’t just about strength—it’s about how safe and supported a baby feels in their body.

When we build that foundation, development often unfolds more naturally.

“Fussy” or High-Needs Babies

"Feeding Challenges, Reflux, and Body Tension"

Presenting Concerns

Parents reached out due to ongoing feeding difficulties. Their baby was often fussy during feeds, had frequent gas, and showed signs of reflux. There were also moments of gagging or choking, particularly when dysregulated. Sleep was fragmented, and baby appeared uncomfortable when placed on their back.

Clinical Considerations

This presentation suggested a combination of digestive discomfort, oral motor coordination challenges, and body tension—particularly through the abdomen, diaphragm, and hips. Birth history (including assisted delivery) may have contributed to tension patterns affecting feeding mechanics and comfort.

From a regulation perspective, baby appeared to be working quite hard during feeds, which can impact coordination of suck–swallow–breathe and increase air intake.

Support Provided

Sessions focused on gentle body-based support to address tension through the abdomen, diaphragm, and hips, along with parent coaching around feeding positions, pacing, and reading early cues of dysregulation.

Parents were also supported in understanding how body comfort and nervous system regulation influence feeding.

Observed Changes

Over time, parents reported that feeds began to feel more settled. Baby appeared more relaxed during feeding, with improved latch quality and less milk loss. There was a reduction in gulping, and baby was able to complete feeds more comfortably.

Gassiness remained present but appeared less intense, and overall feeding interactions felt calmer for both baby and parent.

Clinical Reflection

Feeding challenges are often not just about feeding itself. When we look at the body, nervous system, and overall regulation, we can start to understand why feeding feels difficult.

Supporting comfort in the body can create the conditions for more coordinated, efficient feeding—without needing to force or train the process.

Meet Kaili

I’m Kaili Ets— a pediatric occupational therapist with 18+ years of experience, an infant craniosacral therapist, and an osteopathy student.

But more importantly, I’m a mama of two who’s been exactly where you are — exhausted, overwhelmed, and second-guessing everything.
Through my Holistic Baby Flow Method and Mothering From Within approach, I’ve helped hundreds of families move from confusion to confidence, and I’d love to help you too.

I’m just here to help you hear them — and yourself — even more clearly.