If your baby has been fussy, hard to settle, struggling with feeds, or resistant to tummy time — chances are you’ve already Googled every possible explanation. Colic. Reflux. High needs. Tongue tie. And maybe every answer felt like it half-fit, but nothing quite explained the full picture.
Here’s what I want to offer you instead: a different lens entirely.
Before I do anything else with a new baby in my clinic, I look at their body. Not their face. Their body. And in about thirty seconds, I usually already know a lot — because the body communicates. It has been the whole time. Most mamas just haven’t been taught what to look for.
I’m an occupational therapist with 17 years of clinical experience, a certified infant craniosacral therapist, and a certified pediatric sleep and reflux specialist. What I’m about to share with you are the five body clues I check first with every single baby I see. You can start noticing these today.
BODY CLUE 1: Head-turning preference
Does your baby consistently want to look or turn to one side? Do they resist when you gently encourage them to turn the other way?
The neck muscles are one of the first places babies hold tension — especially after a difficult birth (long labor, fast labor, vacuum or forceps, or a C-section). That tension can show up as a consistent preference for one side. It affects tummy time, feeding, sleep position, and early milestones.
What to notice: Does your baby always turn their head the same direction? Do they seem stiff or resistant when you try to look the other way?
BODY CLUE 2: Asymmetry in how the body rests and moves
When you lay your baby on their back, does their body look and move evenly from side to side? Does one arm rest differently? Does one hip seem tighter when you bring the knees up?
Asymmetry is common and comes from position in the womb or from the birth process. It often goes unnoticed — but it has downstream effects on feeding, movement, and comfort.
What to notice: Is there a side your baby seems to prefer? A position that always seems a little harder? A direction they resist?
BODY CLUE 3: How the body behaves during and after feeds
I’m not asking whether your latch looks right. I’m asking what the baby’s body does.
Do they arch away from you? Unlatch repeatedly? Clench their jaw or tense their whole body even when the latch seems correct? Pull off and cry?
These can be signs of oral tension, jaw tightness, or neck tension that makes the mechanics of feeding genuinely uncomfortable — not because of your technique, not necessarily because of a tongue tie, but because of what the body is holding.
What to notice: Does your baby seem to be working hard during feeds in a way that doesn’t settle even when everything looks fine?
BODY CLUE 4: Whether they can settle when put down
Can your baby be placed on a flat surface and stay calm? Or do they startle awake, arch, or only settle when held in one very specific way?
A baby who can only find comfort in a narrow set of conditions is often a baby whose nervous system is working overtime — managing a background of discomfort that won’t quiet down on its own. This isn’t a behavior problem. It’s a regulation issue.
What to notice: How wide is your baby’s window of comfort? Can they settle in different positions, or does it always have to be exactly one way?
BODY CLUE 5: Overall tone — floppy or stiff?
Some babies feel tight — they extend, arch, resist being curled in a flexed position. Others feel floppy — slow to push back, heavy in your arms, soft in a way that goes beyond just being relaxed. Both ends of this spectrum are worth paying attention to.
High tone can affect feeding, sleep, and how comfortable a baby is in their body. Low tone affects tummy time, milestones, and how the body develops. Neither is something to panic about. Both are things worth noticing.
What to notice: Does your baby tend toward stiffness or looseness? Do they arch away from you often, or do they feel unusually floppy?
WHAT TO DO WITH WHAT YOU’RE NOTICING
First — the fact that you’ve noticed is already meaningful. So many mamas tell me they knew something was off but kept being told their baby was fine. Your instincts are picking up on something real.
Second — try to approach what you’re noticing with curiosity rather than anxiety. There’s a shift that happens when a parent moves from “what is wrong with my baby?” to “what is my baby telling me?” That shift changes everything about the next steps.
Third — if you want a starting point for reading your baby’s body and understanding what you’re looking at, I made a free guide called the Calm Baby Blueprint. You can grab it at freebie.kailiets.com/calm-baby-cp.
And if you’re ready to go further — to learn the hands-on techniques I use in clinic that you can do at home — my course Baby Bodywork At Home is the next step. But start with the guide. Let it land first.
You’re not imagining it, mama. Your baby has been talking. Now you’re learning the language.